Don't lie. We've all been there.
One second stinkin' drinkin' - pinky's
up and eloquent layin' on the charm to other party-goers. The next,
waking up with mysterious bruises, 5 different missing items and a
sneaking suspicion you were speaking with subtitles mere hours ago.
If you decided to go for the gold this
New Year's and out-do your high score of drinks consumed, and found
yourself in this position, you're probably digging yourself out of a
killer migraine peppered with guilt and confusion.
I know you didn't mean to piss off your
best friend's girlfriend, miss the toilet, shatter those glasses
while dancing on the table – and I don't blame you for the broken
furniture on your stumble-y mission down - gravity's a bitch!
Life's stressful, work sucks, we miss our friends we haven't had a chance to see 'cause of our messy schedules, and the night of the party we gotta day off work to let loose thanks to those dwindling inhibitions!
THE CHERRY ON TOP:
Society teaches us to bottle up our emotions, and as the 6th bottle of beer empties sometimes so do said emotions. Sloppiness ensues.
This is covered in
the fine print on the Surgeon General's label we pay no attention to
when we sign up for a day/night of heavy drinking and partying.
So what I'm trying to say is, for the most part it's no surprise you act kind of
douche-y at parties sometimes. You are not a monster. It's a result of the above recipe sometimes, others how it just kinda plays out.
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS:
Because you're not a monster and at the moment feel like all your friends hate what guts ya have left in ya - here goes:
This is the part where I put myself at risk of never being invited to future shindigs by lettin' ya in on something I've cooked up on a couple occasions - in hopes that you'll get back on your feet and better terms with your awesome friends because ya know, ya didn't mean to do it, and just done goofed when Drunken Jesus took the wheel.
This is the part where I put myself at risk of never being invited to future shindigs by lettin' ya in on something I've cooked up on a couple occasions - in hopes that you'll get back on your feet and better terms with your awesome friends because ya know, ya didn't mean to do it, and just done goofed when Drunken Jesus took the wheel.
Yup. My roomie's had some friends over and during a heated game of beer pong I splashed my friend's boyfriend with a solo cup of cold water. Despite the fact that he asked for it by feeding me shots of tequila on that night - I felt kinda bad. He brought a tazer to the party. And out of the kindness in his heart, decided not to taze me.
Making coffee and leaving some cash for the booze supplied is a good way to show your buddies that you're wishing 'em well with getting over that hangover and whatever cleaning is left to be done from the night before (if you haven't already cleaned up the damage). Plus it lets 'em know you appreciate their want to get a few drinks in ya so you can have a chill time - despite the risks of what happens next.
Fig. 2
If you're reflecting on something especially apology-worthy but it was also kind of your bud's fault for pushing you to your limit when they know "how you always get 8 shots in", it couldn't hurt to choose a gift bag or make one that really says "hey, I hate what I did to cause a scene and/or destroy your property and/or ruin your night, but I also really can't find anyone else to call my friend....
....(who's as kick ass as you)"
;)
Fig. 3
Alright, so ya weren't that much of a prick this time, but everyone knows ya quit smoking cigarettes a couple months ago and these are tough economical times, my friend. That didn't stop you from bumming from guests left and right at this shindig - including the same person (and probably host of the party) on repeat. Once shit got spinny I also heard ya forgot exactly where ya were smokin' and ashin'.
In this scenario, it'd be best to leave a couple bucks on the counter and proceed to get yer filthy butts outta there before yers does. They'd do it for you!
Fig. 4
Ok - Losing your lunch is never fun. But it's even less fun when it's someone else's lunch, and it's ALL over your carpet/couch/mom/cat/etc.... Here's a little gesture that'll not only help them sober up and soften the blow of their hangover, but also remind them that you're eternally grateful for them putting you to bed and sparing you the chance to further embarrass yourself. After all they did refrain from Snapchatting the precious moments of your sloppy self at it's prime and didn't scribble on your face with a sharpie while you were half conscious on the couch before your second wind ...all without knocking your lights out.
This particular party I gotta say - I reached a low point. I raised a bit of a ruckus at my friend's pad when someone I'd been associated with showed up unannounced and 'caused a bit of a scene. There was more salt then the Midland Basin. On top of it, at the same party, I also accidentally sent a Martini glass to it's doom when I'd flailed my arms in a fit of enthusiasm and/or hostility during a demonstration over a beer pong table.
*sigh* Why do we do this to ourselves, again..?
If that wasn't enough at the time to get me to tone it down a notch (or 5), I also had 'ol baby Barky with me as they were nice enough to let her crash with me on their couch while I was kinda confined to a car. She was still VERY puppy..And had a few accidents on their carpet when the space between her walks increased with my alcohol consumption.
Don't forget to seal it with a kiss!!
Here's some others. Love in every bite or it doesn't count !!
Hope these made you and your buddies' feel a little better about your intoxicated mishap, if any.
Also, this is in no way an invitation to get shit-hammered and act a fool at parties, guys - consider this a floatie for what's done is done and there's no use drowning in a sea of guilt.
And to those who've dealt with me on these occasions, I fucking love you.
-Karma
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